The Value of Women

Maybe it’s because I’m working for a faith-based women’s center, and I’m seeing more of the struggles. Maybe it’s because of a phone call yesterday – a woman crying on the phone, seeking counsel for her and her boyfriend – domestic violence, pain, fear. Maybe it’s because I’ve lived long enough to wonder why the church is still silent about many women’s issues – even though women represent half the church.

Growing up in a legalistic religion, I heard about submission at least once every calendar quarter. It was drummed into us from the pulpit, in the Sunday school and in every day life. Men are the head of the home. Men should do all the really important jobs in the church. Men are in authority over women – always. Women must submit, even to the point of denying their right to live.

While some of the teaching was indeed biblical, no mention was made of the serious issues of abuse – physical, emotional or spiritual. Not once did I hear a sermon about mutual submission as recorded in Ephesians 5:21. No one ever explained why it was okay for Abraham to force Sarah to lie about their marriage, because he was afraid. The leadership of the church seemed to negate that example by pounding into my feminine brain once again that my own gifts of leadership were not acceptable in the male-dominated world of church. I wondered then and still wonder – are the sons of Abraham still afraid? Do they not know how to deal with women who might balance out their gifts, females who might be able to deal with women’s issues and exercise leadership?

Many of us women who were called to serve ended up in parachurch ministries where our abilities and gifts were acceptable and welcomed. Some of us, myself included, who wanted to attend seminary and earn a Master’s of Divinity swallowed our dreams and bowed to the authority of the traditional male model. Many of us still wonder – what if?

Last week, I read a novel where the main character was an Episcopal minister – a woman minister. In considering her call, she said, “Christ had nothing against women; he knew their value. He liked having them around.”

Of all the religious leaders in the world, Jesus Christ was the only one who truly valued women and respected their giftings. He let Mary sit at his feet when it was culturally unacceptable for a woman to learn. He inspired Aquila and Priscilla to serve with Paul and possibly (?) co-write the book of Hebrews. Jesus called Rachel Saint and Anne Graham Lotz and Joyce Meyer to teach the Gospel to anyone who would listen – male or female. And today, this Savior of the world, this Jesus reminds us that time is short and in the last days – men and women will prophecy.

I do believe that Jesus values me and likes having me around. I honor Jesus as my Husband and Maker. I find purpose in hearing him whisper, “Don’t be afraid. You are one of my chosen women. I have given you the right to serve me.”

In the Bible Study Magazine, Tod Twist writes, “We all have skewed ideas about how our lives should look so that we can do what God wants us to do.”

I think he’s right. Sometimes I am certain that God wants me to suffer unabashedly for my faith and be willing to face the martyr’s blade (always hoping it won’t hurt too much). More often, I would very much like to hole up in a cabin somewhere and write incredible words that would influence the world. The pen-mightier-than-the-sword type of words.

Rarely do I consider the fact that each day and each moment might be a special calling for what God wants me to do – a service of the seemingly mundane. Washing dishes and carefully stacking them so that they’ll drip dry – at the same time, praising God for the hot water that cleanses plates and bowls.

Or answering the phone and listening – really listening – to a frantic voice on the other end, then praying with that person about a specific trauma so she can hope again.

Or kissing my son goodnight and telling him once again, “I love you.” That seems like such a normal service, yet surely God is pleased whenever we love others as we love ourselves.

This weekend as we celebrate the tenth anniversary of 9-11 and the horrible tragedy of that day, we will be reminded of all the ordinary moments those people lived. Boarding an airplane and turning into a hero over the plains of Pennsylvania. Going to work in a diner and later helping a debris-covered man phone his wife with the news, “I’m alive.” Watching the news over and over that day and holding our children close. All types of service that surely pleased the heart of God.

What does God really want us to do? Just live and love. In all the normalcies of each day, without the skewed attitude that we must be in the pulpit or on the mission field or listed as church staff in order to be accepted by God. Just live and love. Be God’s people in the everyday moments of life. And be grateful.