Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Gift of 2010

During this Christmas season, my son and I received so many beautiful cards and well-wishes. We also received financial gifts, a new set of tires, gift cards and a new website (www.rjthesman.net). It was a blessing to receive, because we knew God placed those gifts on the hearts of our friends and family. Someday, we will again be able to give back and the cycle will continue.

When I think back over the year 2010, my first thought is Whew ! Glad that year is over! But as difficult as it has been to go through unemployment smack in the middle of the Great Recession, it has been a year of growing closer to God, learning to trust more and watching how the Almighty took care of us.

Month after month, God provided – either in some sort of temp job or in a miraculous gift. We still have a roof over our heads and food in the fridge. We are still healthy and able to work. We are still looking forward to each new day and asking, “How can we bless someone today?”

The Gift of 2010 is that God allowed us to depend solely on Him. He taught us again, that He is a faithful God who cares about His children. He became, once again, the Creative One who devised a variety of miracles and used numerous people to make those miracles happen. He stretched our food, our laundry soap and even our dog treats so that we could wait a little longer before we had to buy more. He gently led us into new arenas of service and work, teaching us once again, not to put Him in a box.

I am glad this year is over, because the calendar places us one year closer to the day we meet Jesus. And who knows what 2011 will bring in the form of jobs, published books or speaking opportunities. The only constant I know is that the God of 2010 will be the same faithful God of 2011 and what a gift it is to belong to Him.

Wednesday, December 15, 2010

Becoming Fruitful

In Exodus 1:12, Moses records a history lesson for the children of Israel. They lived in slavery in Egypt, but continued to bear many children. Pharaoh was worried about this, so he increased the oppression and the work for the Israelite people. But his plan didn’t work. They continued to bear more children, to be more fruitful, to increase and grow. The oppression actually triggered more fruitfulness.

“The more they were oppressed, the more they multiplied and spread” (Ex. 1:12).

During this year of unemployment, God has been creative and mysterious in causing fruitfulness. Many people have told me how much this blog has meant to them – how it has reminded them to trust God for everything – how they have praised God for all the ways He has helped them. I’m so glad, so grateful that something good is coming out of this.

I also see God’s hand in my own life, to refine those places that might have become attracted to earthly comforts, to teach me more about trust and His faithfulness. When we have jobs and money in the bank, it’s easy to buy those extra things that comfort us – the pretty shoes, the colorful scarf, the chocolate sundae. But none of those temporary treats really satisfy. The shoes wear out, the scarf fades, the sundae leaves behind a sugar fog.

The only thing that matters is to find our satisfaction in the love of Christ and to let Him make us fruitful. If that includes some type of oppression, some hard place that is uncomfortable, then so be it. The more we are oppressed – if we let the Holy Spirit work through that oppression – the more we will multiply in godly traits and spread the good news of Jesus.

We can never become so focused on getting the job, making the money or doing the work that we forget the real reason we inhabit planet earth – to glorify God, to make disciples and to enjoy our faith walk forever.

Thursday, December 9, 2010

Those Who Uphold

As I’ve been working on my latest book proposal, I’ve thought about the page for Acknowledgments. Usually, I don’t read those pages in other books. I don’t know the people listed there, and it’s really a thank you page for the author.

But as I’ve thought about my own acknowledgments, I’m listing all the people who have prayed for us this past year. Some of them I see every week at church or in cell groups. Some of them respond to me via e-mail: “I’m praying for you, asking God to give you a job.” Still others, I won’t see or even know about until I meet them in heaven.

God knows each of these prayer warriors and calls them by name. He even knows the number of hairs on their heads and the brown spots on their hands.

In the darkest moments of this year-long wait, I’ve often asked God to tell somebody to pray for me. I’m certain he has done that, because we’ve made it through almost a year of living by faith and trusting God to take care of us. When discouragement hits, inevitably, someone is enlisted to pray, because the depression lifts and we make it to another day.

The Amplified Bible expresses an important sentiment about those who pray, “Behold, God is my helper and ally; the Lord is my upholder and is with them who uphold my life” (Ps. 54:4).

God is with those who uphold me. Emanuel lives in them and with them. He triggers the times they need to lift up my son and me. God helps me, and he helps them.
In my list of acknowledgments, I hold those praying people as a special corps of dedicated folks and pray that God will bless them even as they have blessed me.

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Advance Warning

God is so good to warn us in advance. Monday night, he sent me to Psalm 34, one of my favorite of David’s songs. It reminded me to not give in to fear. Several of the verses spoke specifically against fear and assured me that God is taking care of us.

“I sought the Lord and He heard me. He delivered me from all my fears.” Vs 4

“This poor man called and the Lord heard him. He saved him out of all his troubles.” Vs 6

“Those who fear the Lord lack nothing.” Vs 9

“The eyes of the Lord are on the righteous. His ears are attentive to their cry.” Vs 15

“The righteous cry out and the Lord hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles.” Vs 17

The next morning, I received word that my email account had been hijacked and my contact list compromised. Although I’ve blocked everything and checked all my accounts, I don’t know how much of my identity has been stolen. But I do know that I don’t need to be afraid.

I am praying for those who have done this to me. They have the address of this blog. Maybe they will read it and learn about Christ who can set them free. I hope so. He is the only one who can deliver us, keep us from fear and restore our losses into something good. He is the only one who knows how to warn us in advance.

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

In Everything

One weekend, I watched a football game on TV. The score was tied, and it was up to the kicker to win or lose the game. He gave the ball a mighty kick, and it soared through the goalposts. Just before he was mobbed by his happy teammates, the kicker raised his eyes to heaven and pointed upward. He seemed to be saying, “Praise God! The victory is won!”

I have no doubts about the sincerity of this young man, and I have seen other athletes make the same gesture – after the home run, after the three point shot, after the tape is broken at the finish line. I enjoy the ecstasy of the win, but I also wonder about praising God during the agony of defeat.

The Apostle Paul encouraged us to give thanks in all circumstances – not just when we win, but also when the job doesn’t appear, when the disease is not healed, when we have more questions than answers. Can we praise God as fervently from the lonely room, from the hospital, from the cemetery?

This Thanksgiving, I still have questions, but I’m grateful God knows the answers. Even if he doesn’t share them with me, I want to be thankful for His presence while I question. Even if my three point shot for a published book bounces off the backboard, I want to raise my eyes to heaven and say thank you for the attempt. Even if the job isn’t secure and the Christmas goose isn’t fat, I want to point skyward and praise the One who makes Thanksgiving possible.

“In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God for you in Christ Jesus” (1 Thessalonians 5:18).

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Hope Waits for Heaven

Yesterday, I shopped for a Christmas gift for my great niece. She’s eight months old, and a real sweetie. I found a darling corduroy outfit, but also wanted to buy her a toy. None of the rattles or teddy bears seemed right. Then as I strolled through the baby aisle, I noticed a soft doll - perfect for little Ainsley.

But as I carried the doll through the store, I suddenly missed my daughter. Rachel was only three months old, safely growing in my womb, when she died. Although it’s been 27 years, I still miss her. I grieve because I never had the opportunity to hold her, to kiss her, to watch her grow up.

Completely overcome by fresh grief, I retreated to a quiet corner and cried for my loss – for the years I had spent apart from my daughter, for the missed birthday parties, for the dolls I never bought her.

“Oh, God,” I prayed, “please tell Rachel how much I love her, how much I miss her. And thank you that someday, I’ll see her in heaven where we’ll never be separated again.”

Although it’s healthy to release our grief, it’s important to keep our focus on the One who gives comfort. Hope waits for those who wait for us – the mothers and fathers, the grandparents and the sweet children who leave us early. Hope waits to see Jesus Himself, who holds our loved ones in the palm of His hand.

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Tribute to Caleb

Today is my son’s 25th birthday. I am so grateful that he has reached this milestone. God has come through on the promise he gave me when Caleb was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor: “The Lord will sustain him on his sickbed and restore him from his bed of illness.”

I’m also grateful for the person Caleb is, for the young man who continues to work part-time and go to school part-time, reaching for his goals. He’s come through so many difficult times with a great attitude, a desire to make something better of himself and a smile that makes this mother’s heart do an extra thump.

He was a happy child, even when sick. He would throw up and announce, “Thar’ she blows!” An early talker and reader, he passed all the kindergarten tests with ease. When the other kids were asked to name an animal, they said, “Kitty or doggie or tiger.” Caleb answered, “Chameleon – they change colors, you know.”

Junior high and high school were difficult, but Caleb made it through. He focused on his music, winning an award as the fastest drummer, and marching in step with the FreeState band. He helped me around the house and left notes to encourage me. One note hangs on my kitchen cabinet. Caleb wrote it after I lost my job, “I know you don’t like roller coasters, but God is taking us on one. I’ll hold my hands up the whole way, and we will be okay.”

The Stage 3 cancer was a blow, but Caleb marched through his chemo and radiation treatments with ever-increasing courage. Even now, he uses his scar as a conversation-starter and refuses to wallow in self-pity. He understands how fragile life is and how precious each moment can be. He is looking forward to finishing his degree in criminal justice and securing a great job – hopefully, near the beach in California.

Someone recently asked me who I admire. I answered, “My son. I admire my son.”

Happy birthday, dear Caleb, and many more.

Wednesday, November 3, 2010

True Satisfaction

The temp job has ended, so once again I am looking for that full-time job with benefits – out there – somewhere.

Last night, the divine whisper sent me to Psalm 63:5, “My soul will be satisfied as with the richest of foods….”

It’s true that rich foods can be satisfying. Just today, a wonderful friend brought me a strawberry shake from Dairy Queen – richly satisfying. But I know tomorrow, I’ll be hungry again.

Other things in this life are satisfying: new clothes, a different hairdo, redecorating the house – even a full-time job. But none of these things last. None of them really satisfy those inner cravings for security, intimacy and peace.

How do we find true satisfaction that lasts? The verses preceding and following Psalm 63:5 answer the question. “I will praise you, God, and honor you as long as I live,” “I lift up my hands to you in prayer,” “I praise you with songs of joy,” “I lie awake, thinking of you.”

True satisfaction is found when we focus on God’s love rather than our problems. Complete security is found in Christ; not in jobs. Real intimacy is found in the arms of our loving Savior. Sweet peace is felt as we trust God for the answers.

The richest satisfaction in life is knowing that we belong to God, and nothing can ever take that away.

Thursday, October 28, 2010

Two Verses

For many years, early morning has been my devotion time. I think better in the mornings, and the house is quiet. Then I have all day to think about what I’ve learned or what God has shared with me.

One morning this week, God sent me to Psalm 38:15, “I wait for you, O Lord. You will answer me.”

I am indeed waiting on God – waiting for the full-time job, waiting for Jesus to return, waiting for instruction on how to live and pray and be. Only God knows the type of work I should do and when that job opening will occur. All I can do is wait for him and trust that he will answer.

The next day, God sent another verse from the Psalms. “You uphold me and set me in your presence forever” (Ps. 41:12).

That day, I had an interview and needed God to uphold me. Before the interview, I had the usual butterflies, but when I went into the room – God’s peace upheld me. I knew whatever the outcome, He would set me in His presence forever.

As I wait for the answer, He fills me with His Holy Spirit and gives me the grace to accept whatever decision comes. He will hold me up – now and always.

Two days. Two verses. One incredible God.

Wednesday, October 20, 2010

God's Rewrites

At my temp job, I’m rewriting a church’s website. One of the things I’m doing is checking the readability stats for their current website, then rewriting each page to make it more readable. Unfortunately, the American public now reads at a 3rd-4th grade level. So anything on this website above those levels would be almost a foreign language. I’m working to change this website from 9th-10th grade levels so that visitors to the site can understand it.

God often rewrites the lessons of life. When I don’t understand why it’s taking so long to find that permanent job, God turns my questions into truth. This morning, he reminded me from Psalm 37 to commit it to him and he would bring it to pass.

When my car’s brakes started squeaking again, even though I’ve had both sets replaced – God sent me back to Psalm 37 to underline the verse, “Do not fret.”

As I sat in my old club chair this evening and wished for the thousandth time that I had a new recliner, God whispered Psalm 37:4, “I will give you the desires of your heart.”

I think I need to go read Psalm 37 and thank God for the rewrites of my life.

Thursday, October 14, 2010

Reunion

Several weeks ago, I attended a wedding reception for the children of a dear friend. It was in Lawrence, the town where my son and I used to live.

The reception was held in a beautifully decorated church fellowship hall. It was a joy to celebrate the marriage of this young couple and to praise God for bringing them together.

But the best part was seeing all the friends and colleagues of my past. As we hugged and chatted, we talked about what we’re doing now – where we are in life and in our spiritual journeys – how our kids have grown. We also mentioned a few of the aches and pains we’re going through, things we never thought we would talk about.

As I munched on chips and salsa, I looked around at the dear, familiar faces. So many men and women that shared ministry with me, prayed together, worshipped in the same church, walked the same trails. I could almost see some of the tapestries God had woven together to merge our lives, to make a difference in this particular time of history. I was proud of the great work my friends have done through the years, glad that my name is associated with theirs in God’s book, confident that so many of them will receive great rewards.

It was a piece of eternity – of that incredible time when we will be finished with this world and we will gather around Jesus, reminiscing about all the ways He let us do his work.

Well done, good friends of Lawrence. I look forward to our next meeting on earth and to that bountiful reunion in heaven.

Wednesday, October 6, 2010

No Regrets

Next week, I will celebrate one of those decade birthdays – the kind that seems a lot older than it really is. I’m not worried about marking another year on the calendar. This birthday just makes me that much closer to heaven where I’ll kiss the feet of Jesus.

But the decade birthdays tend to make us ponder the passage of time. So, I have thought about some of the decisions I’ve made in the past, both positive and negative.

I’m so glad I had the opportunity to be a mother. My son is a delight every day. I’m glad I have a college degree, but wish I had earned a Master’s or even a PhD when I was younger. I would have enjoyed teaching creative writing on the college level. I still wish I could have attended seminary, but I’m glad for the Bible training in my Christian high school and college. I wish I could have saved more money, but I’m glad God was faithful even when I was financially stupid. I’m grateful for all the different ministries where I’ve served, but wish I could have discipled more young people. Maybe that will happen in this next decade.

But there is one decision I made that I’ve never regretted. One glorious day, I fell in love with Jesus and gave him my heart. Through all the decades since, even through all my mistakes – He has been faithful. He’s loved me on bad hair days and when my freckles turned into age spots. He’s filled me with His lovely Spirit and allowed me to live in peace. He’s never rejected me; never disappointed me; never hurt me.

We can’t, of course, relive the past. That’s why it’s so important that every day be filled with life and love. We have only this moment, so we need to make the most of it. The best of all my moments involve Jesus.

I have no regrets.

Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Living Forward

About 15 years ago, I interviewed for a position at my church. Another applicant was a single mom, who really needed the job. Although I was offered the job, I didn’t feel right about accepting it. I knew that young mother needed to support her two daughters, and the position was perfect for her. So I turned it down and asked the elders to give it to the other applicant.

I forgot about that moment until a few weeks ago.

One of my friends, who is an incredible communicator, heard about the temp job I’m doing. She would have been perfect for the position, but she also knew how badly I needed work. So she didn’t apply for it; she didn’t even tell anyone she was interested. She just kept praying for me and then cheered me when I started the job – an example of a holy moment, hidden so that no one but God sees.

Years ago, I showed kindness to a single mom who needed a job. I had no idea then that I would someday be a single mom who would need a job. I had no clue that an experience 15 years ago would plant a seed that would be harvested in my own life. And I had no inkling that my good friend would return the favor.

God is so good to be faithful yesterday, today and tomorrow.

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Faith Is

Faith is… believing that God did what you trusted Him to do even though you cannot see the results.

Faith is…painting the nursery before you get pregnant.

Faith is…buying a Christmas present when the doctor says you won’t be here December 25th.

Faith is…walking down the aisle and trusting that your groom will keep his covenant vows.

Faith is…sending your novel to the seventh publisher, believing it will get published.

Faith is…buying a pen for book signings the day you send your novel to the seventh publisher.

Faith is…planning to go swimming before you’ve tried on last year’s swimsuit.

Faith is…tithing 10% when you only have 10% left.

Faith is…driving your car with its cracked block for an entire year and believing God will keep it going.

Faith is…watching them wheel your only child into surgery and believing that God will bring him out alive.

Faith is…rescuing a dog and believing he won’t pee all over your new carpet.

Faith is…making a meal out of scraps and believing there will be enough.

Faith is…taking a job for less than adequate pay, believing that God will make up the difference.

Faith is…putting your soul on the line and knowing that Jesus will carry you into eternity.

Saturday, September 18, 2010

When

My son said the nicest thing.

I asked him if he thought I was a “glass half-empty person or a glass half-full.”

“Are you kidding, Mom? You’re not just a glass half-full. You’re a case full.”

After we both laughed, I said, “I’m glad you think so, but how did you reach that conclusion? What makes you think I have a positive outlook on life?”

“Because nobody else I know could lose their job and keep saying ‘When’.”

I’m so grateful that my son realized the importance of looking forward as we trust God. The question isn’t “What if something happens?” or “If God gives me a new job.” The correct description of trust is “When.”

God will answer our prayers when the timing is right. He will show us a new direction to take when we have learned everything we’ll need for the change. Jesus will come back when his Father tells him to go and get His children.

The way to stay in hope is to keep thinking, “When.”

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

My Heart Trusts

I love it when the Lord gives me a pre-trouble verse. My time with God is early in the morning, when the house and the world are still wrapped in darkness. That seems to be the best time for me to open my Bible and talk with God.

This morning, the divine whisper prompted me to turn to Psalm 28. There I read verse seven, “My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped.” I tried to read the rest of the chapter, but couldn’t seem to move beyond that verse. “My heart trusts in Him, and I am helped.”

So I spent the rest of my devotion time, just thanking God for helping me throughout the day. I had no idea that later in the morning, I would become a target. Without any provocation, I landed in the middle of some office politics. I spent several moments at my desk, just praying for those who were angry with me. I opened my Bible and prayed Psalm 28:7 for the situation, praising God for his help. Rejection attacked, and I recognized how the enemy wanted to use it to send me into discouragement. I repeated the verse again and again, claiming God’s promise to help me.

Fortunately, everything soon returned to normal. By the end of the day, plans were in motion to resolve the conflict. As I drove home, I praised God for sending that pre-trouble verse before anything happened and for reminding me to let my heart trust in him because He would help me.

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

Prayer Meets the Answer

The divine whisper called me to Psalm 88 where I found an interesting concept in verse 13. In the Amplified version, it read, “But to you I cry, O Lord; and in the morning shall my prayer come to meet you.”

Just the idea of meeting with God brought comfort, but here the sons of Korah described the moment when prayer actually met with God. My mind created a vision of God Himself listening for my cry and meeting the prayer halfway.

It was a discouraging week as I paid the September bills and subtracted what was left in the checking account. I spoke against the fear, sang the songs of praise and reminded myself of God’s eternal faithfulness. Then I read Psalm 88 and felt the encouragement of the Holy Spirit again.

A temp job suddenly opened up, which may become a full-time position. It involves writing, problem-solving and communications – all my strengths. In a divine coincidence, this job happened just as I was learning about Psalm 88:13. As I prayed, God was already sending the answer. My cry and His answer met in a spontaneous explosion of need and grace.

Join with me in praising God.

Wednesday, September 1, 2010

Of Course

Last Sunday, one of my friends reminded me of the first two words we will say in heaven.

When we meet Jesus and get that welcome hug from our Savior, our soul eyes will be opened. We’ll finally understand why certain things happened to us on earth. We’ll know that the long periods of waiting taught us patience and compassion. Sorrow helped us realize that we should never take each other for granted. Illnesses threw us on our knees to beg for healing. All the stresses and problems of life helped us empathize with others who followed in our steps.

When we’re with Jesus, we’ll see how he poured extra grace on us for those times. The same powerful grace that helped him endure those six horrific hours on the cross enabled us to bear our crosses. In heaven, we’ll finally see the smile of God and realize how much he wanted to help us – how he longed to hear us cry out to him, “Abba Father – help me.”

Maybe God will show us a video of our lives on earth. In the background will be all the people who prayed for us, cried with us and encouraged us. We’ll see how our own prayers strengthened someone else in the darkest of nights. We may get a glimpse of the enemy forces that surrounded us and how warfare prayers rescued us. Like an umbrella of protection, I suspect we’ll see the Holy Trinity discussing our situation and letting us learn just long enough before one of them rescued us. Our hearts will soar with a new passion for worship as we realize all the ways God saved us.

We’ll understand it someday, and our first words will be, “Of course.”

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Lacking Nothing

Sometimes, the most familiar passages can filter into our souls and give us new insights. This morning, the Lord sent me to Psalm 23 – the Shepherd’s Psalm. I memorized it years ago, but this time – read it in my Amplified Bible and didn’t make it past the first verse.

“The Lord is my Shepherd – to feed, guide and shield me – I shall not lack.”

When I look back on this time of unemployment, it is true that the Divine Shepherd has been with us – to feed us, guide us and shield us. We have purposely gone without movies, new clothes and any other luxury items. But we still have a roof over our heads, food in the fridge and hope for the job that God will provide. As we have prayed about the needs and waited for God’s provisions, he has given us everything we have needed.

Check out my son’s blog: carnival4caleb.blogspot.com to see how God provided for Caleb’s medical account. And keep coming back to this post – to see how God provides the job I need, in his timing and in his incredible way.

He truly is the Shepherd who cares about every need – for each one of his precious sheep.

Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Family Gifts

The more isolated our society becomes, the more I appreciate family. These days, my immediate family includes my son, an elderly cat and an even older dog. My extended family lives 250 miles away in Oklahoma, “where the wind comes sweepin’ down the Plains.”

This Saturday, August 21st, the family of God is coming together to help my son. We’re having a carnival (check out the blog at http: Carnival4Caleb.blogspot.com), organized by an incredible woman and author friend, Shanna Groves. In obedience to the divine whisper, Shanna and many others in the extended family are helping add to my son’s medical account. They are showing, in a practical way, how to be family – to support one another and live out love.

The scope of what is happening this weekend touches us on so many levels – the anonymous gifts already shared – known only to God and the accountant at Capitol Federal; the time and energy expended on a hot Kansas afternoon; the assurance that God is at work on my son’s behalf; the utilization of various talents– all provided for one goal. This confirmation that we are indeed family enriches each of us – certainly in a practical way for Caleb – but also spiritually and emotionally for everyone who participates.

The Carnival 4 Caleb is a living metaphor of the campfire song, “They will know we are Christians by our love.”

Tuesday, August 10, 2010

The Timing of Answers

A few weeks ago, God gave me instructions for July and August, straight from the passage of Isaiah 58. I have always appreciated the whispers of the Holy Spirit in this passage, because it outlines how we should care for the poor and the needy. The Amplified Version was the one that gave me a timeline for the answer to my job prayer.

“…Hide not yourself from the needs of your own flesh and blood” (Isa. 58:7). The needs of my own flesh and blood include my mother and my son. This week, I’ll be helping my mom while my sister is on a reunion/mission trip to Africa. My sister is the usual care-giver, but this is her time away. So I’m grateful I can be there to help my mother.

On August 21st, I’ll be helping with the Carnival for Caleb (check out the blog at http://carnival4caleb.blogspot.com). This is a fundraiser for my son’s medical account. My son needs my help, so I’m grateful I can be there.

God knew my help would be needed with these situations, so he withheld the job for such a time as this. Then he concluded with another Isaiah promise, “Then shall your light break forth like the morning, and your healing (your restoration and the power of a new life) shall spring forth speedily…” (Isa. 58:8a).

I believe the job is coming, but it will be after I meet the needs of my own flesh and blood. I am so grateful that God knows the perfect timing for answered prayers.

Wednesday, August 4, 2010

Lifting My Eyes

Last week, my family arranged for me to join them in a New Mexico mountain town. We had a week of cool weather, no humidity and the glory of God’s creation. Psalm 72:3 reminds us that the mountains bring peace to the people. That was certainly the case as I enjoyed the time with family, read good books, wrote in my journal and reveled in the beauty of the mountains. For one week, I purposely focused on God’s creation and forgot about the job search.

One day, I sat by the stream and worshiped God. The babbling voice of the water reminded me that God was near. The stream was so peaceful, filled with the life of the water, yet free of stress. The pine trees and blue spruce lifted their arms to the heavens in praise to God. A tiny hummingbird sang as he searched for the pollen of wildflowers. And I sat there, representing God’s human creation, and worshiped the God who made it all.

Corrie Ten Boom once said, "God doesn't have problems; He only has plans."

Surely the God who created the mountains can also fulfill the plans he has for me. I lift up my eyes to the mountains, and I lift my heart in praise to my Maker and my Guide.

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Don't Waste It

This week, I received a copy of an article written by John Piper. “Don’t Waste Your Cancer” was written by Piper as he prepared for prostate cancer surgery. He makes good points about using the cancer to learn more about God and move forward in the faith journey, but I think his ideas can be useful for any type of suffering – even unemployment.

1.Believe this unemployment is designed by God – if it comes from the sovereign hand of God, then there is a purpose in it and God himself will be with me throughout the journey.

2.Believe it is a gift; not a curse – the gift in unemployment is the ability to grow closer to the Lord, to understand more of the sufferings of Christ and to be used to exhibit God’s grace.

3.Believe that true comfort comes from God; not from outside sources. It is easy to believe the comfort will be securing that dream job. But true comfort is revealed by the Holy Spirit as I relax in the arms of Jesus.

4.Believe in the importance of considering death. Unemployment death means dying to my idea of the perfect job and being willing to go where God wants me to be.

5.Believe in cherishing Christ. Since my true life continues into eternity, learning to cherish my Lord here will prepare me for how to worship him there. My true life is in the relationship with Jesus, not in the security of a job.

6.Believe in the importance the Word. Although I spend time searching for a job, reading God’s Word is still the best use of my time and pushes me closer toward the heart of God.

7.Believe in the importance of relationships. Going through unemployment is not the time for isolation. I need people. I need hugs. I need community.

8.Believe in the importance of hope. Stay in the Psalms. Smile. Find something valuable to do every day. Be courageous enough to keep believing.

9.Believe in the importance of confession. Even during unemployment, it is important to evaluate myself, to make sure I have no unconfessed sins.

10.Believe that I am a witness, even in unemployment. People watch how I go through suffering. My son watches how I wait for the answer and how I pray. Even stronger believers can learn from my witness, and I want to please God in the wait.

Although my thoughts may be a bit different than Piper’s, it’s been a good experiment to go through his article and make it mine. This time of unemployment is not a waste; otherwise, God would not allow it. He has a purpose. All I need to do is stay in hope and believe.

Thursday, July 15, 2010

God Alone

Years ago, I heard Charles Stanley say, “When God repeats something, pay attention.”

This week, God repeated the same idea five times, so I’m paying attention. The theme was that God alone was going to give me a job. He doesn’t really need my help.

Psalm 72:18, “Blessed be the Lord God, the God of Israel, who alone does wondrous things.”

Psalm 62:5, “Wait only upon God….”

Psalm 62:1, “For you alone, my soul waits in silence; from Him comes my salvation.”
NIV note to Psalm 51:10, “Create – as something new which cannot emerge from what now is and which only God can fathom.”

NIV note to Psalm 81:10, “Trust in the Lord alone for all of life’s needs.”

It seems pretty clear to me. God alone is going to do this thing, and when he wants me to do something, he will instruct me. I just need to wait for his incredible work.

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

The Heart Waits

Sue Monk Kidd is one of my favorite writers. I have followed her career from the days of Virtue magazine to the publishing of The Secret Life of Bees. Recently, I discovered a nonfiction book by Kidd and have relished in the prose of this talented writer.

The book is called When the Heart Waits and is a chronicle of Sue’s midlife crisis and how she had to wait for God to reveal himself. In the process, she learned a great deal about herself and about the principle of waiting. She states there is a difference between waiting and being still. Waiting is something we all do – in the grocery store line, at the bank, during enrollment at school.

But to be still is to wait with patience, to trust God for the answer even though the answer seems distant, to believe that God still cares even when everything is falling apart.

King David transcribed God’s viewpoint of waiting in Psalm 46:10, “Be still and know that I am God.” We often focus on the “be still” section of this verse, but the important part is to “know” that He is God. Sometimes, the only way to know God best is to go through the waiting.

As I continue to wait for the job, I want to be still and keep believing that God’s timing is best and his divine will is for the purpose of glorifying Christ. I want my heart to wait with hope and stay in praise. This is my prayer for today.

Wednesday, June 30, 2010

The End or The Beginning

Today was my last day at the temp job. It’s actually the same place I’ve worked for six years, but has become a temp job as Reduction in Force affected our business. In the meantime, nothing else has surfaced for me – no interviews, no replies to emails or voice-mails, no answers to prayer.

So this morning, I spent time just praising God for the past six years. I thought of all the people I have met, either in person or over the phone lines, and thanked God for putting them in my life. They have been examples of Christian faith and integrity in the workplace. I thanked God for all the things I have learned, either spiritually or on-the-job training. My computer skills are more honed than before, and I can do many things on the internet that I could not do in the last job.

But still, it is a bittersweet time. I wanted to “Go out in joy and be led forth with peace (Isa. 55:12); however, my emotions were more attuned to self-pity and doubt rather than joy and peace. I almost drove to Dairy Queen to drown my sorrows in a strawberry shake, but the Holy Spirit reminded me that He is my comfort – not ice cream.

For today, I’m okay. The tough time will come next week, after the 4th of July holiday, when people all over the city return to work and I don’t. Maybe that’s when I’ll find out what my faith is really built on – the security of a job or the unseen path of faithfulness.

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

Suddenly ...

Last weekend, my son and I traveled to Oklahoma for a family wedding. I was excited about seeing everyone, but also dreaded having to answer the question I knew would come, “Do you have a job yet?”

“No. Nothing yet.”

Before I finished packing for the trip, God sent me to Isaiah 48. I had read that chapter many times before, but this time – God had a special message. Verse 3, “I foretold the former things long ago, my mouth announced them and I made them known; then suddenly I acted, and they came to pass.”

Suddenly he acted, and they came to pass. Although it has now been six months of searching for the job, that time period means nothing to God. He can act in the sphere of “suddenly.” One day I will wake up, and God will know it is the day. He will act. He will move the mountain. He will remove the fog and make it known. The job will come to pass. Suddenly.

Wednesday, June 16, 2010

Faithfulness in Advance

This morning, the Lord took me to Isaiah 41:10. This verse has been a favorite ever since I served as a missionary in Honduras. Again, those sweet words brought comfort: “Do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God. I will strengthen you and help you; I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.”

When I went to the office, I was told that my temp job will end June 30th. Unless something happens in the next two weeks, there will be no income after June – except for the fact that God is faithful. He has told me, in advance, not to fear. He has promised to be with me. He has told me to not be dismayed – upset, frustrated, discouraged – because he indeed is my God. He has promised to strengthen me and help me. And this morning, he upheld me with his powerful and loving right hand.

I don’t know what is going to happen. I only know that since God knows what I need in advance, then he is perfectly capable of helping me today and beyond June 30th.

Wednesday, June 9, 2010

God's Timing with Noah

This morning, I read through Genesis 8 and discovered a nugget of truth about Noah. He and his family, along with the animals, had been in the ark for one year and 10 days when God finally said, “Step out of the Ark.”

It wasn’t written as approximately one year or “Some time passed.” It was written in the Amplified Bible as one year and 10 days.

If Noah had stepped out of the ark too soon, the ground would have been too wet and the vegetation wouldn’t have been mature enough to feed the animals. If he had waited too long, their food and water supplies inside the ark would have been depleted. God knew the exact day that Noah was to step out of the ark. Noah waited, listened for God’s instruction and then obeyed.

In my situation, God knows the exact day that I will hear about a new job. It won’t be one day early or one day late. Hopefully, it won’t be one year and 10 days, but it will be the exact day that God already knows. What I need to do is wait, listen and obey.

Then I’ll step out of this particular ark and into the blessing.

Wednesday, June 2, 2010

The Power of the Word

Ephesians 6 teaches us about the power of the Bible, that it is our Sword of the Spirit and we need to know how to use it. Last night, I had an experience that underlined the truth of God’s powerful Word.

I was asleep when a spirit of fear attacked me. It tried to smother me with anxiety about the job search. So I did the only thing possible – I cried out to God and spoke the power of his word. I repeated Proverbs 3:5-6 until the spirit left: “Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make your paths straight.”

That is not the passage I usually speak to fight against fear, but those were the words that came to my lips in the darkness of the night. After a few minutes, the spirit left. But about an hour later, it returned – same spirit, same fear.

So I repeated the exact same verse, and the spirit left. I slept soundly the rest of the night and woke with a sense of peace and joy.

The word of God is powerful, able to defeat strongholds and anything that comes against us. Even when the theme of the verse isn’t exactly appropriate for the moment, God’s word is still powerful. Even when we’re half-groggy with sleep, God’s word dispels the fear. His word within us is greater than anything the enemy can throw at us.

I’m so grateful for the power of God’s Word.

Wednesday, May 26, 2010

3 Important Points

Last Saturday, God took me to Psalm 37 and gave me three instructions. I’ve been focusing on them all week:

1.Delight in the Lord. He will give you the desires of your heart. To delight in the Lord means to focus all my energy on him. It means I should stop worrying and scurrying – just enjoy my time with him. He knows the desires of my heart, even better than I, but my greatest desire is to delight in him.

2.Commit everything to him and let him take care of it. It’s so easy for me to plan what I’m going to do, then forge ahead and do it with gusto. But God wants me to relax in his arms and let him be my Husband and my Maker. He’ll take care of the job, the finances and every other desire I have.

3.Be still and wait patiently. It’s been almost seven months since the lay-off. I thought surely I would have a job by now, but it hasn’t happened. For some reason, God has me living in the “pause” button when I would rather be on “play” or “fast forward.” He knows why and he knows where. I just need to be still and wait for him to work it out.

George Mueller once wrote that although the steps of a good man are ordered by the Lord, so are the stops. So I need to take his advice and focus on the three points God gave me. Then the future steps as well as this stop will be a blessing.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

More & More Praise

Discouragement surrounded me this week. It had been a long time since the last interview – no calls, no answers, no job. It seemed as if my life was on “Pause.” I asked God, “When do we get to ‘Play’ or even ‘Fast Forward’?” No answer.

So, in the privacy of my living room, I did a scarf dance. The scarf dance is something I taught several years ago to my women’s Bible study in Lawrence. Each of us had a colorful scarf, and we used it as a tool of worship. We danced around my house to the music of “Celebrate Jesus”, swirling our scarves and swaying in praise.

This time, I was alone, except for the Lord. I sang my own version of the song, draped one of my silk scarves around me and just danced in worship. The discouragement left, and peace enveloped my soul.

The way to stay in hope is to praise God, over and over and over again. As King David reminds us in Psalm 71:14, “But as for me, I will always have hope; I will praise you more and more.”

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

3 Powerful Verbs

“…Hope in God and wait expectantly for Him, for I shall yet praise Him, who is the help of my countenance and my God” (Ps. 43:5b).

Almost every day this week, God has reminded me in his about 3 powerful verbs. These verbs seem to be the action I need to take as I look forward to a job. One verb is Wait. That doesn’t mean I just sit around, eat chocolate and feel sorry for myself. I’m still going to job fairs, looking on the web for openings and making sure my resume is the best it can be. To wait on the Lord means to let him take care of the details, move his puzzle pieces around and open a door for me.

Hope is the 2nd verb. Staying in hope is important, because without it, the enemy throws discouragement down my throat. Hope is the action word for the foundation of faith. Because I know God has a good plan for me and still wants me to be his servant, I have hope that some day that job will appear.

The last verb is Expect. Although I’m doing everything I can to search for a job, prepare for interviews and listen to my network; I fully expect God to surprise me with something only he can do. He is the one who has gifted me and decided which works I would do “…Since the foundation of the world” (Eph. 2:10). I expect him to open doors that no one can shut, to help me be a witness wherever I go and to place me where I can serve him best.

Wait. Hope. Expect. 3 powerful verbs that I’m living with and focusing on this week. The only other verb I need is Praise.

Wednesday, May 5, 2010

Caring for Mothers

During the past couple of weeks, I was in Oklahoma, caring for my mother. It was a strange experience, because it was actually my sister who was in need of care. Kris had an extensive back surgery that required a 360 operation – front and back. She was in ICU for a while, in the post-op ward for a couple of days and then in rehab. Thankfully, she has now returned home and will do follow-up rehab from there.

But Kris lives with Mom and helps to care for her. So someone needed to be there, to help Mom with her confusing issues and be her comfort during the evenings. Since I don’t yet have a job, I volunteered.

Why is it so difficult to switch roles? Perhaps because mothers are the strength and the heart of the home for so many years. They are the ones who fix our meals, wipe our tears and bandage our boo-boos. We owe them a great deal of love and respect.

Yet now, my mother is losing some of her short-term memories. Time and space boundaries are disappearing in the fog of early dementia. It takes an incredible amount of patience to just be around Mom, to answer the same questions over and over, to make sure she doesn’t follow her confusion rather than reality.

I do not understand why this is happening to my mother, and I don’t like it one bit. After watching Dad suffer through Alzheimer’s for 10 years, I don’t think it is fair that his care-giver now has some of the same difficulties. But that’s just the way it is.

All I can do is pray for her, continue to honor and respect her, send a card on Mother’s Day and pray like crazy that I don’t do the same thing to my son.

Thursday, April 29, 2010

The Significance of Help

After spending a week in Oklahoma with family, I am grateful again for the timing of God. The last few months, my energy has been focused on trying to find a job. I have wondered why nothing has surfaced. Even after seven interviews and 65 completed applications, nothing has happened. Yet this week, I began to see why. My sister and my family needed me.

It was an intense surgery, lasting 13 hours from beginning to final recovery. The rehab will be painful and at least three months long, but my sister has some relief already from the pinched nerves, the degenerated discs and the scoliosis. My mother, who has been fearful, has had a week of someone else in the house. We have driven around town, we have visited the doctor, we have eaten together and discussed family business.

Although my mind has been focused on the job search, God sees the larger picture. He is fully capable of providing the job I need at the exact time he has decreed. He reminds me not to be so selfish about my needs, but to do all I can to help family – for such a time as this.

We find significance in our work, but we also find great value in being able to help others. This week, I return to Kansas City and once again, search and pray. But for the last weeks of April, I was free and available to do something even more important than my own needs – to help others.

And isn’t that a higher call?

Wednesday, April 21, 2010

Joy in Bloom

Flowers give me so much joy, and this year – they are spectacular. Since we had such a wet winter, the trees and flowers are abundant with color and texture. It’s been hard to pass by some of the nurseries and not buy any flowers (trying to save money), but last week God provided a gift. I used part of it for some yellow flowers in the front of the house.

It has been said that yellow flowers cheer up any room. I think that’s true, and the bright yellow seems to be everywhere this year. Besides flowers, I’ve seen yellow blouses, chartreuse jackets and even canary-yellow shoes. As soon as I get a job, I plan to buy something yellow for my wardrobe.

But in the meantime, I’ve planted a few yellow zinnias in front that cheer me every time I drive up to the house. They remind me of God’s provision this week and of the need to stay encouraged and live in hope. A few yellow flowers are worth it to keep my spirits up and my thoughts on the Creator.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

Lessons of Unemployment

Although being unemployed is scary, I have been trying to find some positives in the situation. Some of the blessings I’ve discovered are:

• TIME – on the days I don’t do temp work, I have more time to read books, think about God and stroll through the local nurseries – smelling not only the roses, but all the other flowers.

• MEDITATION – thinking more about trust and about who God is. Can I really trust him to come through and find me a job? If not, then what’s wrong with my faith?

• CREATIVITY – since I’m a writer, I’m always being creative with my words. But now I’m also learning creativity with the budget. How far can I stretch those vegetables? How many dishes can I make from one stir fry? Answer – as many as possible until they’re gone.

• PATIENCE – Psalm 40:1 reminds me not only to wait for God to answer, but also to wait patiently. That means, don’t complain. Focus on blessings.

• KINDNESS – God’s people are kind. Some have sent cash, one friend mailed a grocery gift card, others sent greetings and confirmation that they are praying. Every kindness is a like a breath of scented air.

• SECURITY – my faith is built on nothing less than Jesus Christ. Jobs are extra benefits, places of work where we can influence people and try to do some good in this world. Jobs are not our security. When the job is gone, God is still here.

• FAMILY – my extended family lives in Oklahoma, but I know they pray for me. My family here is my son and our animals. I’m spending as much time as possible doing things with them. This blesses me as well as them.

I truly hope that a job appears soon, and I need it to happen soon. But in the meantime, I’ll keep looking for the blessings of unemployment and stay in hope.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

Spiritual Burn-Off

Have you ever seen a field in burn-off? Farmers and ranchers set fires in their fields to keep the weeds down and stimulate new growth. Along I-35, signs are posted, warning drivers not to travel into heavy smoke from the burn-offs.

If you watch the progression of a burn-off, it follows a certain pattern. The immediate fire is fierce, often accompanied by black smoke. The once-fertile field retreats into a charred blanket of ash. But about three days later, tiny sprigs of new growth begin to push upward. In about a week, especially after a spring rain, the field is verdant green. Wildflowers appear. Wildlife returns.

In our spiritual lives, we sometimes need a burn-off. Hefty strongholds, destructive behavior patterns and just plain old sin need to be removed. God uses the fire of discipline and difficult circumstances to burn away our weedy behaviors. If we cooperate with him and learn our lessons, we experience a season of quiet and rest. Then we begin to grow again, to produce fruit and live abundantly.

Burn-off isn’t pleasant, but it is necessary – especially if we want to truly live.

Wednesday, March 31, 2010

No More

During our Bible study video this week, we heard a statement about heaven. “There will be no more tears, no more crying, no more pain.”

We were encouraged to make our own list of “no more’s” – the things we go through here that will be no more in heaven. So my list included:

No more medical bills
No more worries about finances – ever again
No more stress
No more physical problems
No more loss of jobs / income
No more aging bodies
No more losses of any kind
No more saying good-bye
No more rejection

The list could go on and on. Try making your own list and then thank God for the “No More’s” of heaven.

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

The Encouragement of the Geese

Several years ago, during a time of great suffering, God sent the geese. I was driving to work and fighting discouragement, when a flock of geese flew right over my truck. They were so beautiful, so fluid in their movement and so determined in their purpose – I felt encouraged. I knew that the same Creator who gave the geese an instinct to fly in a V, would also direct my life. Since then, every time I see geese, I praise God for his provisions and his direction.

During this job search, I have seen more geese than any time in my life. When going to an interview, geese were all over the lawn near the building. Driving to a job fair, 3 different flocks of geese flew over me. At least once or twice every week or so, I see more geese. None of these situations have resulted in a job, but I’ve felt encouraged by the geese that God keeps sending.

This morning, I met a woman for a networking meeting. She gave me some ideas, but no definite answers for a job. Later, I was driving to a luncheon appointment, and I thought about the networking lead. I wondered what God had in mind.

I turned into an access road and right in the middle of the road were four geese, just leisurely waddling along the asphalt. They seemed in no hurry, but completely comfortable to let me wait for them. I laughed out loud for several moments.

“Thank you, God. Here are the geese once again – not at all frustrated because I don’t have a job. Just doing what they do best – waiting for a signal from you to fly.”

Wednesday, March 17, 2010

God's Thermostat

A quote by Warren Wiersbe states, “When God permits his children to go through the furnace, he keeps his eye on the clock and his hand on the thermostat. His loving heart knows how much and how long.”

I think God is standing right beside the thermostat now.

The past six weeks have been filled with one trial after another on top of spiritual and emotional testing. God has placed me in the furnace to temper me, teach me and toss me around. Besides the job search, there have been additional health issues – both for me and my son, another round of dealing with health insurance, a late night phone call regarding someone getting access to my credit card, concerns about my family at home, gloomy weather that makes me sad and on and on. Each day has brought something new, rather than any type of relief. I wonder how much higher the thermostat can go before I melt into a heap.

But maybe that’s where I need to be – in a heap of melted self at the feet of Jesus.

1 Peter 1:7 reminds me, “Your troubles have come in order to prove that your faith is real. It is worth more than gold. Gold can pass away even though fire has made it pure. Your faith is meant to bring praise, honor and glory to God. That will happen when Jesus Christ returns.”

The purpose of the heat is essentially to bring praise, honor and glory to God – to change me more into the likeness of Christ – to release the Spirit-filled life in me so that I can be an example to others. So let the heat come, let it melt off everything that hardens me. Let the beauty of Jesus be seen in me.

Wednesday, March 10, 2010

BENEFITS

As I look for a job, I focus on the benefits of each position: health insurance, life insurance, 401K, etc. These benefits are important in our culture, for the security we need – especially for a single mom.

But this morning, I read about the benefits that come from living the Christian life and walking with God. They are listed in Psalm 103:2-5:
• Forgiveness – the benefit God offers to us and we offer to others
• Healing – physical, emotional, spiritual
• Redemption – the freedom we have because of Jesus
• Love – that incredible compassion and caring that God shows to us each day
• Satisfaction – the fulfillment of letting God meet the desires of our hearts
• Renewed Life – living and breathing the Spirit-filled abundance
• Justice – as God vindicates us, we find hope for the future

The Bible is filled with even more benefits – all the promises we have in Christ. But this list gives me hope today, and that’s the insurance and assurance I need.

Wednesday, March 3, 2010

Delivered from Fear

About 3:30 one morning, I was awake and praying about the "job". The search has almost taken on a character of its own; constantly with me in my thoughts and even in my dreams.

But that early in the morning, I couldn't really do anything about it. So I opened my Bible to one of the best chapters about fighting fear: Psalm 34. And once again, I read one of my favorite verses for staying in hope.

"I sought the Lord, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears." Ps 34:4.

Delivered from ALL my fears, including the fear of waiting for the job to appear, the fear of not being able to pay bills, the fear of wondering where in this city I fit in and why can't I find it.

Sometimes the fear of the unknown is harder to face than the fears right in front of us. But God promises to deliver us from all fears. So, I literally visualize taking that fear and placing it at the foot of the cross - then letting Jesus deal with it.

Praise God - He delivers me !

Thursday, February 25, 2010

Wait in Hope

The weekend dragged as I faced too many days, unemployed. My knees scraped raw as I knelt beside the bed, crying out to God for help. The new job hadn't surfaced; I felt rejected and alone.

Yet the definition of hope includes believing, especially when we don't see the answer. The "evidence of things not seen" concludes the writer of Hebrews as he describes faith. Hope and faith are sisters, both requiring the foundation of trust.

On Sunday, I found another buoy to hang on to, recorded in the Psalms: "We wait in hope for the Lord; he is our help and our shield. In him our hearts rejoice, for we trust in his holy name. May your unfailing love rest upon us, O Lord, even as we put our hope in you."

My hope is not found in the job nor in the security it brings. My hope is in the very presence of my Husband and Maker - Jesus Christ.

Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Be Still

How can we be still when we're feeling desperate ?

This week, God has told me to "Let it be and be still..." - the famous verse found in Psalm 46:10.

I've been going to job fairs, searching job boards, applying online, calling, etc. So far, I've had lots of interview experiences and several more ball point pens - given away at the job fairs.

But no job.

It's actually been a good week, focusing on who God is, praying, searching the Bible for answers. My stress levels have gone down, because I'm not doing the work. I'm being still and letting God do the work. Still no job, but more peace.

The answer is in the rest of Psalm 46:10 "Let it be, be still - and know that I am God."

That's the key - knowing that He is God, that He is sovereign, that He knows what's supposed to happen and when.

Being still and letting God be God is the key to total peace and the answer for our prayers.




Wednesday, February 10, 2010

Watching the Sparrows

Every morning, I grab my over-sized coat and venture out to the deck to feed the birds. Sometimes I see the scarlet cardinals, who always come in pairs. Most days, the obnoxious bluejays appear. During the winter months, the snow birds settle in for a snack.

But the species that comes every day is the sparrow. She is not the flashiest bird, but she is definitely the most intense species. Every morning, she waits on the deck and flutters a few feet away when I come out the door. As soon as the birdseed is spread on the deck and in the feeder, she is back. She works diligently and doesn't leave until every last seed is consumed.

I like the sparrows, because they remind me of the care and protection of God. In Psalm 84, we are reminded that God cares about the sparrow and provides a nest for her to shelter her young.

During these days of job searches, waiting for phone calls and dressing for successful interviews - I stay focused on hope because of one truth. God cares about this sparrow and her chick. He loves me, and he loves my son. He will show us where to find enough seed for another week and when it's the right time - he'll provide the perfect job.

Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Pre-Existing

My son is searching for health insurance. He's trying one of the high risk pools, hoping they will accept him without a huge premium or high deductible. He's only 24 years old, but has a pre-existing condition. Although he's cancer free now, he had a malignant brain tumor removed two years ago. He's been through chemo and radiation and has a scar on the side of his beautiful head that breaks my heart every time I look at it.

He's working part-time, going to school part-time and moving toward his future plans. But the current system locks him out of health insurance, because of this pre-existing monster.

It makes me angry at the injustice and worried for the possible scenarios. But God is sovereign. He knows how to help us.

Sometimes we suffer from pre-existing strongholds. They may have been placed on us by generational sins or by our own follies. But they have a strong hold on us and only the grace of God and the power of the Holy Spirit can remove them. If we hang on to the sovereignty of God and keep our hope in him alive, he will give us the assurance we need to keep going.

Nothing pre-exists God - and that's the best insurance we can ever have.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Abundant Life

In the movie, "Last Holiday", Queen Latifah portrays a woman who believes she has only three weeks to live. She decides to quit her job, cash in her 401K and live the rest of her life to its fullest.

Her character, Georgia, travels to a resort where she wow's the wealthy, sticks up for the workers and becomes the focus of a culinary buffet. She buys beautiful clothes which accent her natural glamour. Throughout the movie, Georgia pampers herself, laughs with abandon and tries every adventurous escapade she can.

Beyond the feel-good message of the movie, we find a spiritual dimension. Even with a normal lifespan of 80+ years, our lives pass quickly. Every day is a gift - to work, to play and to dream. As Christians, we belong in an eternal state, but while we are chained to our mortal bodies, can't we also be an example of abundant living? Sure, life is hard, but sometimes we make it even more difficult with our sad attitudes of just surviving for one more day.

Jesus was not a sad, mopey person who complained about his struggles. He was a King who loved and lived freely. As his children, we emulate his life when we laugh, love and ignore fear. We can learn to wake up each morning and declare the next 24 hours as moments lived for God. We can embrace each hour as an opportunity to spread joy and peace rather than doom and gloom. We can approach each day as a challenge to find the good in it and show love to everyone we meet.

Queen Latifah's character received a new diagnosis and lived to see her dreams come true. Whether we have three weeks or three decades, life represents opportunities to be our best and live as examples of breathing hope.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

His Presence

I'm in a small group that is studying about the Tabernacle. It's fun to go through those Old Testament passages and rediscover the symbols and meanings. God directed the children of Israel to put the Tabernacle together as a reminder that he was with them in the wilderness.

This week, I read a devotion that referred back to the Tabernacle and encouraged us Christians to remember that God's presence is always with us - even now. Just as the Israelites carried the pieces of the Tabernacle from place to place, so we carry the presence of God with us. Because the Holy Spirit lives in us, we are a temple - a reminder to all that Emanuel - God is with us.

During this job search, it comforts me to know God is with me. When I worry about my son's health, it encourages me to know that God is also with him. As I do my daily tasks, knowing that God is with me helps me stay focused.

It's good to know today that the very presence of God is with me - and also with you.

Wednesday, January 13, 2010

A Strange Place

We Christians live in a strange place. It is possible to be afraid and still be trusting God. Sometimes we suffer pain, yet have an inner peace. We are in the world and not really of the world. We live on Planet Earth, but long for our home in Heaven.

I'm in a strange place now - looking for a job, trying not to let fear and discouragement be the emotions that define me. Still trusting God to work it out and to send me where I can be the most good.

The Apostle Paul understood our dilemma. He wrote, "We are afflicted in every way, but not crushed; perplexed, but not despairing; persecuted, but not forsaken; struck down, but not destroyed" (2 Corinthians 4:8-9).

So every morning I get up and say, "Thank you, God, for this good day. Maybe today I'll get that new job."

Every night, I praise God for being with me during the day. Sometimes, with tears streaming onto my pillow, I remind God he has promised to be faithful. I tell him that my son and I need help. Then I go on trusting - in this strange place.

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

Out of Work

A notice beeps on my computer, "The office assistant has stopped responding."
Ironic!

My little Microsoft reminder coincides with the downsizing of our office and the elimination of my job.

Many people are in the same boat with me, trying to survive day to day and not think about health insurance or the mounting bills. But some of us have an advantage; even in the middle of a desperate search for work and the fears that tend to keep us from sleep - we have peace.

We know that God has a good plan for our lives. He can teach us more about trust during the unknown, and he shows us how faithful he really is. He is able to meet every need and lead us to that perfect place he has chosen for us.

So, although I don't know where I'm going; I know who is going with me. I'll keep trusting God to work it out and believe in a happy result.